Exercise can be hard to come by in these parts. I go into the city on average once per week, and take public transportation, so I get a pretty good walk in. Allen has been encouraging me to take walks around the neighborhood and to do some light yoga at home, which we manage about 2 or 3 times per week. Well, probably more like 2. Or 1. I have plenty of excuses, but the bottom line is: I need to make more time for exercise.
I joined the local YMCA gym last Spring, specifically because they have an indoor track for running and a heated pool. I haven't been in... months. It's ridiculous, I know. I was going pretty regularly for a while but then fizzled out as I started to flounder at work. I finished my work early this week (for once), and decided it was high time for a re-commitment to exercise. It will only help me and Butterbean in the long run. So, after breakfast this morning, I went to the gym.
Why, oh why did I not do this sooner?! I know I'm not the first to say this, but seriously, swimming is the best! Pregnant women everywhere should make this their exercise of choice. Yoga is great for stretching and breathing, but I often feel that my belly is in the way. Swimming alleviates that feeling entirely. I am light and buoyant and I can stretch without feeling like I am squishing Babycakes. I can't wait to go back!
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Birthing classes.
Yesterday was our first class. We're taking a Bradley Method birthing class. I probably wouldn't have bothered with it, but the midwives recommended, and I thought it would be useful to Allen to see some videos of births and to get some pointers on how to deal with a laboring wife.
It was what I expected it to be. Discussions about birth options (hospital vs. non-hospital), some relaxation an exercise techniques, discussion about the importance of diet. This is a 12 week course, so we'll have more in-depth discussions as it gets further along, but it was a good start.
...
Right up until the point where she laced into us for being vegan. She asked us the age old "Where do you get your protein?" This question is tiresome. I started to respond with the standards - tofu, legumes - she cut me off and asked what whole food sources. She wasextremely a little bit snotty when she said tofu was not a whole food. Saying tofu is not a whole food is like saying your dinner is processed because you cooked it. Or that cheese is a processed food. Cheese was high on her list of viable whole foods protein sources, by the way.
Since I was put on the spot and felt alot little attacked, I didn't have a good comeback, but seriously? I am tired of this. I am not protein deficient. I did a lot of research on this diet before I started it, and I would not being continuing this diet if I thought it was harmful to my baby in some way. Or if any blood work or ultrasounds showed any kind of dietary concern. Which they haven't.
The "vegetarians don't get enough protein" thing is a myth. A MYTH. We get protein from all sources. Every food has protein in it to varying degrees. People who aren't vegan think that only dairy and meat have protein, but it's just not true. Dairy and meat are almost exclusively protein and fat, but vegetable and grain sources have protein too. They also have carbs and fats and such, so they aren't exclusively protein. But we do eat foods that are high in protein - legumes, nuts, tofu, tempeh, wheat gluten, quinoa, This list goes on. Not to mention that our vegan diet is way healthier than any omnivore who eats out 4+ times a week. And p.s. lady, your double cheeseburger from Five Guys isn't a "whole food" source of protein. (N.B. When I say "food", I'm talking about whole foods you buy at the grocery store, not fast food or any other kind of processed food.)
Needless to say, I am irked. I'm tired of being attacked because I don't buy in to the American diet. And I'm tired of people second-guessing me and trying to scare/shame me with outright lies about nutrition. I'm not an idiot. I can read. I understand what I need to be healthy, and what my body needs to produce a healthy, appropriately size baby. This over-emphasis on protein is ridiculous. Why don't you talk to the couple who came in eating footlong Subway sandwiches with deli meat slices about listeria and the danger to pregnant women? I didn't hear you making a fuss about that.
It's going to be a long 12 weeks. And next week is specifically the nutrition week, so I'm going to have to come in armed.
A very long 12 weeks.
It was what I expected it to be. Discussions about birth options (hospital vs. non-hospital), some relaxation an exercise techniques, discussion about the importance of diet. This is a 12 week course, so we'll have more in-depth discussions as it gets further along, but it was a good start.
...
Right up until the point where she laced into us for being vegan. She asked us the age old "Where do you get your protein?" This question is tiresome. I started to respond with the standards - tofu, legumes - she cut me off and asked what whole food sources. She was
Since I was put on the spot and felt a
The "vegetarians don't get enough protein" thing is a myth. A MYTH. We get protein from all sources. Every food has protein in it to varying degrees. People who aren't vegan think that only dairy and meat have protein, but it's just not true. Dairy and meat are almost exclusively protein and fat, but vegetable and grain sources have protein too. They also have carbs and fats and such, so they aren't exclusively protein. But we do eat foods that are high in protein - legumes, nuts, tofu, tempeh, wheat gluten, quinoa, This list goes on. Not to mention that our vegan diet is way healthier than any omnivore who eats out 4+ times a week. And p.s. lady, your double cheeseburger from Five Guys isn't a "whole food" source of protein. (N.B. When I say "food", I'm talking about whole foods you buy at the grocery store, not fast food or any other kind of processed food.)
Needless to say, I am irked. I'm tired of being attacked because I don't buy in to the American diet. And I'm tired of people second-guessing me and trying to scare/shame me with outright lies about nutrition. I'm not an idiot. I can read. I understand what I need to be healthy, and what my body needs to produce a healthy, appropriately size baby. This over-emphasis on protein is ridiculous. Why don't you talk to the couple who came in eating footlong Subway sandwiches with deli meat slices about listeria and the danger to pregnant women? I didn't hear you making a fuss about that.
It's going to be a long 12 weeks. And next week is specifically the nutrition week, so I'm going to have to come in armed.
A very long 12 weeks.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Formal wear.
We will be attending the wedding of some goods friends about four to six weeks after Butterbean is born. Allen is a groomsman, so of course, little guy will have to match his Papa! So the question is, long sleeve or short? Full "tux" or vest and bow tie? Decisions, decisions.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Drum roll...
We had the anatomy scan yesterday. Turns out it was a stroke of genius on my part to schedule it for my birthday. I was too focused on the amazing to mope about getting older. There was no whining, no crying, no holing up under the covers. I was even happy and cheery all day. I'm pretty proud of myself. And no post-birthday-blues today, either. (So far...) But if they strike, I still have cupcakes in the fridge. ;-)
A note about anatomy scans. They are detailed. Super detailed. I thought they'd just wand over my belly, tell me, "Everything looks normal. It's a ____." Not so. The appointment lasted almost an hour, and the technician measured everything from brain and spinal cord to kidneys and heart. Checked all four ventricles in the heart, made sure the kidneys were functioning properly, checked for club feet, cleft palate, Down's Syndrome, made sure the spinal column had enough fluid and was closed... The list goes on and on. She asked up front if we wanted to know the sex, and prepared us before she told us. "Ready for the sex...?" (It sounds weird to me to say it like that, but I think, grammatically speaking, that 'gender' is an identity, while 'sex' is a biological fact.) I have a healthy amount of amniotic fluid, and our baby is perfect. No abnormalities, all ten fingers and all ten toes, and weighing about 11 ounces. Measuring perfectly for just about 20 weeks gestation.
She also checked the placement of the placenta, and where it's attached. I'm happy to report that it is not covering my cervix, which means I am good to go for a non-hospital birth. If it had attached over the cervix (covering it), I'm pretty sure that requires a c-section, and I wouldn't be able to deliver with the midwives. I think that was probably the most important news of the day. I mean, don't get me wrong, we are totally excited to have a perfect baby, but we were prepared for birth defects. Well, as much as you can be, anyway. I mean, we were planning on adopting a special needs child from China, so we've had to think about birth defects already. But I was not prepared for an abnormal placenta placement, especially given that my OB/GYN just kicked me out of her practice. Luckily (and happily) it's not an issue.
We also discovered that our little Butterbean (who is really cantaloupe-sized now) is a wiggler! That baby was moving all over the place! Kicking little legs, opening and closing hands, flipping over... I can't feel any movement yet, but it's only a matter of time. And I predict that the acrobatics will keep me up for many a night before this pregnancy is over. This kid takes straight after Allen - can't hold still! I have a feeling I'm going to lose the baby weight pretty quickly trying to keep up with those two.
So, now the news everyone has been waiting for:
It's a boy!
A note about anatomy scans. They are detailed. Super detailed. I thought they'd just wand over my belly, tell me, "Everything looks normal. It's a ____." Not so. The appointment lasted almost an hour, and the technician measured everything from brain and spinal cord to kidneys and heart. Checked all four ventricles in the heart, made sure the kidneys were functioning properly, checked for club feet, cleft palate, Down's Syndrome, made sure the spinal column had enough fluid and was closed... The list goes on and on. She asked up front if we wanted to know the sex, and prepared us before she told us. "Ready for the sex...?" (It sounds weird to me to say it like that, but I think, grammatically speaking, that 'gender' is an identity, while 'sex' is a biological fact.) I have a healthy amount of amniotic fluid, and our baby is perfect. No abnormalities, all ten fingers and all ten toes, and weighing about 11 ounces. Measuring perfectly for just about 20 weeks gestation.
She also checked the placement of the placenta, and where it's attached. I'm happy to report that it is not covering my cervix, which means I am good to go for a non-hospital birth. If it had attached over the cervix (covering it), I'm pretty sure that requires a c-section, and I wouldn't be able to deliver with the midwives. I think that was probably the most important news of the day. I mean, don't get me wrong, we are totally excited to have a perfect baby, but we were prepared for birth defects. Well, as much as you can be, anyway. I mean, we were planning on adopting a special needs child from China, so we've had to think about birth defects already. But I was not prepared for an abnormal placenta placement, especially given that my OB/GYN just kicked me out of her practice. Luckily (and happily) it's not an issue.
We also discovered that our little Butterbean (who is really cantaloupe-sized now) is a wiggler! That baby was moving all over the place! Kicking little legs, opening and closing hands, flipping over... I can't feel any movement yet, but it's only a matter of time. And I predict that the acrobatics will keep me up for many a night before this pregnancy is over. This kid takes straight after Allen - can't hold still! I have a feeling I'm going to lose the baby weight pretty quickly trying to keep up with those two.
So, now the news everyone has been waiting for:
It's a boy!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Battleground.
Wow. Just wow.
I went to my OB/GYN today for my "last" prenatal visit. I had some questions about getting vaccinations (flu and whooping cough, to be exact), and I needed a copy of my blood work for the midwives. I also thought it would be courteous to tell my doctor that I really respected her and liked her, and while I was avoiding the hospital for my baby's birth, it was nothing personal - it was Inova's sky-high c-section rate (43.6% at last count).
As is typical in my doctor's office, I waited for over an hour to see her for less than five minutes. I had my iPod to occupy me, so I don't mind waiting. It took me three tries to find a doctor I liked and I am willing to wait for her. I went back to do the blood pressure/pee in a cup/weight thing with the nurse on staff who asked if I was "transferring". (She had gotten me a copy of my blood work.) I happily said yes, I was going to a midwife group for the delivery. She, in a whisper, told me that it was her ambition to become a midwife and she was starting training soon, but that she could never tell anyone in the office because "midwife" was a dirty word. This should have been my first red flag.
When the doctor finally came in, she asked about transferring. I assumed she would be somewhat supportive because I had a discussion with her a few months ago (at one of my first prenatal visits) about being a homebirth baby and having midwives in the family. She was very upbeat about it at the time, so I assumed she'd understand that I would want a natural, normal childbirth, free of unnecessary interventions. What a naive girl I was...
She politely, if coolly, answered my questions about vaccinations. (Yes, get a flu shot. Wait until after the birth to get a whooping cough shot, though Allen can get one now.) She also told me my belly was measuring normal, which is funny since no one actually measured my belly, and told me not to sleep on my back any more. What comes next pissed me off. In a big way.
My doctor told me that since I was transferring care, they were terminating their relationship with me and I could not come to them with any questions or problems. I thought this was a little weird, but plunged ahead. I explained that I was having an ultrasound on Monday and I didn't want to officially transfer until after that because I was going to a midwife under the assumption that I was having a normal, healthy pregnancy with no complications. She asked what doctors the midwife practice had to "back them up" and what hospital they transferred to. When I told her I didn't know about a specific doctor, she put on her most concerned face and told me to be sure I got an answer for that. The implication being that women can't be trusted to have babies without a doctor hovering in the wings. I let that go.
What I can't let go is what happened next. I asked about transferring back for GYN care after I gave birth, since my goal in going to the midwife group was not to have all of my GYN care with them, but only to avoid the hospital. She explained that the practice wouldn't take me back. "It's a breach of trust. If you don't trust us for the birth, then why would you trust us for any of your other health care."
I'm not kidding. That's verbatim.
So here I am, 19 weeks pregnant, and essentially screwed if this pregnancy turns out to be abnormal in any way. So much for caring about women's health. What a huge crock of shit. I was completely at a loss for words during that visit because I couldn't believe my doctor, who I have trusted for four years now with my health and well-being, had just told me that because I didn't like the statistics of the hospital, she was no longer be willing to be my doctor.
Now, I am not speechless. I am still shocked, and appalled and furious. When my mother was pregnant with me, she had to lie to her OB about her birth plans. She went to her prenatal visits on time and on schedule and then "accidentally" had me at home under midwife supervision. Now, 35 years later, I'm realizing that I should have done the same thing. This is ridiculous. The medical establishment is forcing women into the hospital for birth, and taking the rest of our care hostage in order to insure we don't ask too many questions. OB/GYNs are hijacking women's health in their own self-interest and I am sick and tired of it. I see my OB for less than five minutes at each visit, and she has the audacity to lecture me about a breach of trust? Who does she think she is? I appreciate her medical expertise, but the harsh reality is that she has never seen a normal birth. She is a trained surgeon and if the baby doesn't come out when she thinks it should, she will operate with impunity under the guise of "non-reassuring heart tones" regardless of what is best for me or my child.
Well guess what guys? Now you've pissed me off. I am mad as hell and I'm not taking it any more. I have a huge newsflash for them. If something funky comes up on my ultrasound on Monday, I will not be going back to that practice for care. In fact, I will never go back to them for anything, and not only will I not recommend them to friends any more, I will take every opportunity to tell all the women I know in the area just exactly how much their practice actually cares about women and their health. (Here's a little secret: they don't. They don't care about you or your baby or your health. They care about their stats and their bottom line.)
Since I'm not naming names in a public forum, I'll be happy to discuss the matter further in a private email if you are in the area and want more information. But the bottom line for me is: I'm not taking this lying down. I refuse to have my health and the health of my child hijacked over some asinine pissing contest between doctors and midwives. And if this particular doctor thinks she can scare or shame me into a hospital, into a pitocin drip, or into a c-section, she's got another think coming.
Having a baby is not pathological. It is not a medical procedure. In some cases, there are complications, and a trained OB can save you and your baby's life. That has never been in dispute. But the plain fact of the matter is that most births don't require anything more complicated than patience and time, two things of which doctors are in notoriously short supply. Modern obstetric care is a joke. It's a slice and dice operation with little regard or respect for the women it's supposed to be helping. And I, for one, refuse to buy into the bullshit any more.
So, thanks, Doc. You've shown your true colors and really opened my eyes. I'm glad I saw now, instead of as I was being wheeled into the operating theater for an unnecessary c-section. I'm hoping there's a doctor out there who isn't threatened by midwives and who sees them as a natural complement to OB/GYN care. After this experience, I'm not going to settle for anything less.
I went to my OB/GYN today for my "last" prenatal visit. I had some questions about getting vaccinations (flu and whooping cough, to be exact), and I needed a copy of my blood work for the midwives. I also thought it would be courteous to tell my doctor that I really respected her and liked her, and while I was avoiding the hospital for my baby's birth, it was nothing personal - it was Inova's sky-high c-section rate (43.6% at last count).
As is typical in my doctor's office, I waited for over an hour to see her for less than five minutes. I had my iPod to occupy me, so I don't mind waiting. It took me three tries to find a doctor I liked and I am willing to wait for her. I went back to do the blood pressure/pee in a cup/weight thing with the nurse on staff who asked if I was "transferring". (She had gotten me a copy of my blood work.) I happily said yes, I was going to a midwife group for the delivery. She, in a whisper, told me that it was her ambition to become a midwife and she was starting training soon, but that she could never tell anyone in the office because "midwife" was a dirty word. This should have been my first red flag.
When the doctor finally came in, she asked about transferring. I assumed she would be somewhat supportive because I had a discussion with her a few months ago (at one of my first prenatal visits) about being a homebirth baby and having midwives in the family. She was very upbeat about it at the time, so I assumed she'd understand that I would want a natural, normal childbirth, free of unnecessary interventions. What a naive girl I was...
She politely, if coolly, answered my questions about vaccinations. (Yes, get a flu shot. Wait until after the birth to get a whooping cough shot, though Allen can get one now.) She also told me my belly was measuring normal, which is funny since no one actually measured my belly, and told me not to sleep on my back any more. What comes next pissed me off. In a big way.
My doctor told me that since I was transferring care, they were terminating their relationship with me and I could not come to them with any questions or problems. I thought this was a little weird, but plunged ahead. I explained that I was having an ultrasound on Monday and I didn't want to officially transfer until after that because I was going to a midwife under the assumption that I was having a normal, healthy pregnancy with no complications. She asked what doctors the midwife practice had to "back them up" and what hospital they transferred to. When I told her I didn't know about a specific doctor, she put on her most concerned face and told me to be sure I got an answer for that. The implication being that women can't be trusted to have babies without a doctor hovering in the wings. I let that go.
What I can't let go is what happened next. I asked about transferring back for GYN care after I gave birth, since my goal in going to the midwife group was not to have all of my GYN care with them, but only to avoid the hospital. She explained that the practice wouldn't take me back. "It's a breach of trust. If you don't trust us for the birth, then why would you trust us for any of your other health care."
I'm not kidding. That's verbatim.
So here I am, 19 weeks pregnant, and essentially screwed if this pregnancy turns out to be abnormal in any way. So much for caring about women's health. What a huge crock of shit. I was completely at a loss for words during that visit because I couldn't believe my doctor, who I have trusted for four years now with my health and well-being, had just told me that because I didn't like the statistics of the hospital, she was no longer be willing to be my doctor.
Now, I am not speechless. I am still shocked, and appalled and furious. When my mother was pregnant with me, she had to lie to her OB about her birth plans. She went to her prenatal visits on time and on schedule and then "accidentally" had me at home under midwife supervision. Now, 35 years later, I'm realizing that I should have done the same thing. This is ridiculous. The medical establishment is forcing women into the hospital for birth, and taking the rest of our care hostage in order to insure we don't ask too many questions. OB/GYNs are hijacking women's health in their own self-interest and I am sick and tired of it. I see my OB for less than five minutes at each visit, and she has the audacity to lecture me about a breach of trust? Who does she think she is? I appreciate her medical expertise, but the harsh reality is that she has never seen a normal birth. She is a trained surgeon and if the baby doesn't come out when she thinks it should, she will operate with impunity under the guise of "non-reassuring heart tones" regardless of what is best for me or my child.
Well guess what guys? Now you've pissed me off. I am mad as hell and I'm not taking it any more. I have a huge newsflash for them. If something funky comes up on my ultrasound on Monday, I will not be going back to that practice for care. In fact, I will never go back to them for anything, and not only will I not recommend them to friends any more, I will take every opportunity to tell all the women I know in the area just exactly how much their practice actually cares about women and their health. (Here's a little secret: they don't. They don't care about you or your baby or your health. They care about their stats and their bottom line.)
Since I'm not naming names in a public forum, I'll be happy to discuss the matter further in a private email if you are in the area and want more information. But the bottom line for me is: I'm not taking this lying down. I refuse to have my health and the health of my child hijacked over some asinine pissing contest between doctors and midwives. And if this particular doctor thinks she can scare or shame me into a hospital, into a pitocin drip, or into a c-section, she's got another think coming.
Having a baby is not pathological. It is not a medical procedure. In some cases, there are complications, and a trained OB can save you and your baby's life. That has never been in dispute. But the plain fact of the matter is that most births don't require anything more complicated than patience and time, two things of which doctors are in notoriously short supply. Modern obstetric care is a joke. It's a slice and dice operation with little regard or respect for the women it's supposed to be helping. And I, for one, refuse to buy into the bullshit any more.
So, thanks, Doc. You've shown your true colors and really opened my eyes. I'm glad I saw now, instead of as I was being wheeled into the operating theater for an unnecessary c-section. I'm hoping there's a doctor out there who isn't threatened by midwives and who sees them as a natural complement to OB/GYN care. After this experience, I'm not going to settle for anything less.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Malaise.
So, I've been in kind of a funk for the past few days. Partly it's the weather (gray and rainy), partly it's my job (hate it and want it to end), but mostly, it's my birthday.
This has been going on for several years now. About a week before my birthday, I decide that I am not going to mope, I am going to be excited about cake and presents, I am going to plan a small trip somewhere fun, and most importantly, I am not going to mope. I am able to maintain this facade for a day or two and then it all comes crashing down. I whine, I shed a few tears here and there, I want to crawl into bed and cover my head with the covers, I want to hide from my responsibilities until the whole ugly mess is over.
I assumed it would be different this year. This year would be the year of the joyous birthday, since I am finally, miraculously pregnant. I was anticipating celebrating my birthday, and being glad to be at this time and place in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am happy about the time and place... Just not about the birthday. I loathe getting older, especially since it happens without my consent. It seems like yesterday I was 25 and now, all of the sudden, I'm staring my 35th birthday in the face. I do not approve. I also feel vaguely embarrassed about being 35 and pregnant for the first time. I know it's the norm nowadays, but it makes me feel like a story in a gossip column, like the one about the 60 year old woman who got pregnant with donor eggs and a fertility clinic. It doesn't help that I can remember reading in my brother's baby book how strange my Mom felt to be pregnant and 30. Gasp! The horror! She was so old! And that was her second child... (Nothing against women who are in their 30s or beyond who are pregnant. This is just about me whining.)
I will use my birthday as an excuse to gorge myself on treats from our awesome vegan bakery, but it's largely self-destructive. Loading up on sugar and fat and calories in the form of cupcakes is never a good idea, health-wise, though it may be the only thing that saves my sanity this year since I can't go drown my sorrows in a martini. The upside is I don't have to be social to do it. I just have to go to the bakery, pick out my weapons of choice, go home and stuff my face in solitude. (Well, Allen will likely witness the carnage - a mixture of buttercream and tears - but I'll gladly give him an out if he'd rather spend the time at a bar with friends.)
I guess I just feel like I am running out of time. There is still so much I want to accomplish in this life - so much left undone - and I am feeling the passage of time more fiercely with each passing year. Will I ever get to a point where birthdays are the joyous celebration they were when I was a kid? Hell, I'd even settle for the dinner out with friends fetes of my 20s. Though my 20s were somewhat tumultuous, those were some fun gatherings, and as a bonus, I got presents and free meals out of the deal. These days, I only hope no one will call me on my birthday so I don't have to pretend to be cheery and excited. So I can go back to bed and cry and wallow in solitude, without interruptions.
I tried to do something smart this year... I scheduled our anatomy scan ultrasound for the morning of my birthday so that I would have something amazing to focus on all day (boy or girl??) instead of wallowing in self pity. Let's all hope, for Allen's sake, if for no other reason, that it works. Because right now? It ain't lookin' so good...
I am grateful to be where I am - married to a wonderful man, expecting our first child, on the cusp of leaving my hated job behind, secure in home and finances. But I am also playing the birthday/pregnancy card on this one. I have the birthday blues and I am crazy hormonal and I am going to be melodramatic about it. Thanks in advance for your understanding. (Or at least your eye rolling disguised as tolerance. I'll take what I can get.)
This has been going on for several years now. About a week before my birthday, I decide that I am not going to mope, I am going to be excited about cake and presents, I am going to plan a small trip somewhere fun, and most importantly, I am not going to mope. I am able to maintain this facade for a day or two and then it all comes crashing down. I whine, I shed a few tears here and there, I want to crawl into bed and cover my head with the covers, I want to hide from my responsibilities until the whole ugly mess is over.
I assumed it would be different this year. This year would be the year of the joyous birthday, since I am finally, miraculously pregnant. I was anticipating celebrating my birthday, and being glad to be at this time and place in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am happy about the time and place... Just not about the birthday. I loathe getting older, especially since it happens without my consent. It seems like yesterday I was 25 and now, all of the sudden, I'm staring my 35th birthday in the face. I do not approve. I also feel vaguely embarrassed about being 35 and pregnant for the first time. I know it's the norm nowadays, but it makes me feel like a story in a gossip column, like the one about the 60 year old woman who got pregnant with donor eggs and a fertility clinic. It doesn't help that I can remember reading in my brother's baby book how strange my Mom felt to be pregnant and 30. Gasp! The horror! She was so old! And that was her second child... (Nothing against women who are in their 30s or beyond who are pregnant. This is just about me whining.)
I will use my birthday as an excuse to gorge myself on treats from our awesome vegan bakery, but it's largely self-destructive. Loading up on sugar and fat and calories in the form of cupcakes is never a good idea, health-wise, though it may be the only thing that saves my sanity this year since I can't go drown my sorrows in a martini. The upside is I don't have to be social to do it. I just have to go to the bakery, pick out my weapons of choice, go home and stuff my face in solitude. (Well, Allen will likely witness the carnage - a mixture of buttercream and tears - but I'll gladly give him an out if he'd rather spend the time at a bar with friends.)
I guess I just feel like I am running out of time. There is still so much I want to accomplish in this life - so much left undone - and I am feeling the passage of time more fiercely with each passing year. Will I ever get to a point where birthdays are the joyous celebration they were when I was a kid? Hell, I'd even settle for the dinner out with friends fetes of my 20s. Though my 20s were somewhat tumultuous, those were some fun gatherings, and as a bonus, I got presents and free meals out of the deal. These days, I only hope no one will call me on my birthday so I don't have to pretend to be cheery and excited. So I can go back to bed and cry and wallow in solitude, without interruptions.
I tried to do something smart this year... I scheduled our anatomy scan ultrasound for the morning of my birthday so that I would have something amazing to focus on all day (boy or girl??) instead of wallowing in self pity. Let's all hope, for Allen's sake, if for no other reason, that it works. Because right now? It ain't lookin' so good...
I am grateful to be where I am - married to a wonderful man, expecting our first child, on the cusp of leaving my hated job behind, secure in home and finances. But I am also playing the birthday/pregnancy card on this one. I have the birthday blues and I am crazy hormonal and I am going to be melodramatic about it. Thanks in advance for your understanding. (Or at least your eye rolling disguised as tolerance. I'll take what I can get.)
Monday, September 19, 2011
Nightmares.
I've seen lots of warnings in various pregnancy books that pregnant women have weird dreams. I can attest to this, and have shared a few of the weirder ones on this blog. What no one tells you about is the nightmares.
I have had more nightmares in the past four plus months than I have ever had in my life. I've never been much of a nightmare kind of person. I only ever had one recurring (and rare) nightmare as a child, and though I've had various and sundry nightmares as an adult, never with the frequency or vividness I am having now. It's one of the less fun aspects of being pregnant. I'm starting to wonder if it's just me - if my crazy brain is going into hyper-overprotective mode already and it's manifesting as nightmares - or if it's a byproduct of hormones and body changes. Maybe a combination of the two?
I'm already having a harder time sleeping. I have to get up a million times per night to pee, and it's getting harder to get comfortable with a huge body pillow, sheets, comforters and cats. Plus, if I lay on one side too long, my hip falls asleep (not pleasant) but it takes two construction cranes, a Supreme Court ruling and an act of Congress to just roll over. (See: body pillow, sheets, comforter and cats.) And poor Allen. I got up early on a Sunday morning and though he woke up, he drowsed in bed for another hour because it was so nice to have some room to stretch out finally. He noted that when we buy a new bed, we may want to consider a king size...
I have, so far, loved being pregnant. I love the rounding of my belly (minus the creepy belly-button thing), I love that I am both creator and caretaker of a new life, I love hearing the whooshwhooshwhoosh of the heartbeat. I love it when Allen says "Bring me that belly," and puts his hands on my expanding waist with a look of awe and sweetness and love on his face. I miss having a glass of wine at the end of the day - or, let's be honest here, in the middle of the day... But I know that's temporary and I am growing a person! It's amazing!
But I could really do without the nightmares.
I have had more nightmares in the past four plus months than I have ever had in my life. I've never been much of a nightmare kind of person. I only ever had one recurring (and rare) nightmare as a child, and though I've had various and sundry nightmares as an adult, never with the frequency or vividness I am having now. It's one of the less fun aspects of being pregnant. I'm starting to wonder if it's just me - if my crazy brain is going into hyper-overprotective mode already and it's manifesting as nightmares - or if it's a byproduct of hormones and body changes. Maybe a combination of the two?
I'm already having a harder time sleeping. I have to get up a million times per night to pee, and it's getting harder to get comfortable with a huge body pillow, sheets, comforters and cats. Plus, if I lay on one side too long, my hip falls asleep (not pleasant) but it takes two construction cranes, a Supreme Court ruling and an act of Congress to just roll over. (See: body pillow, sheets, comforter and cats.) And poor Allen. I got up early on a Sunday morning and though he woke up, he drowsed in bed for another hour because it was so nice to have some room to stretch out finally. He noted that when we buy a new bed, we may want to consider a king size...
I have, so far, loved being pregnant. I love the rounding of my belly (minus the creepy belly-button thing), I love that I am both creator and caretaker of a new life, I love hearing the whooshwhooshwhoosh of the heartbeat. I love it when Allen says "Bring me that belly," and puts his hands on my expanding waist with a look of awe and sweetness and love on his face. I miss having a glass of wine at the end of the day - or, let's be honest here, in the middle of the day... But I know that's temporary and I am growing a person! It's amazing!
But I could really do without the nightmares.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Thirsty.
I think it's almost universally accepted that the first pregnancy symptom is sore breasts. My doctor told me that was likely going to be the first sign that I was pregnant. As it turns out, it wasn't. My first clue that something new was happening was thirst.
Before I ever peed on that stick, my water intake tripled. Literally overnight. I am not the world's most hydrated person. I have a small bladder and have to pee all the time and it's tiresome to be getting up and down all day because I had one sip of water. I have had problems with kidney stones in the past (not fun, p.s.), so I try to drink more water, but in general, I barely get more than a few cups in a day. But right around the time I got pregnant, I suddenly couldn't get enough water. I was drinking all. The Time. And still felt so thirsty. I was shocked to realize one day that I was drinking about a gallon of water per day suddenly. This, from a girl who previously was struggling to get 32 ounces in.
There are many reasons for the increased thirst, but I think primarily it's because you are increasing the amount of blood in your body. Pregnant women have about 50% more blood than when they are not pregnant, plus, you have to make amniotic fluid. In short, you need a lot of water. Even though I am drinking a gallon of water every day, I still feel thirsty. I will drink so much water that I feel sloshy but still have a dry mouth. It's weird. I still have to pee all the time - more so now that my bladder is sharing real estate with a whole person - but at least I work at home and am never far from a bathroom. It's irritating that it's on a different floor of the house, but I'm counting all those stairs as daily exercise.
The reason I bring this up now is because we have the anatomy scan ultrasound looming. In two short weeks we'll be going in to make sure our baby has all the requisite parts and to find out which parts it has. One of the conditions for the ultrasound is you have to drink 32 ounces of water an hour before the ultrasound and then not pee until after the ultrasound is done. I don't think I can do it guys. I'm doing a test today to see how far I can make it. I chugged 32 ounces of water and I'm watching the clock to see how long I can wait to pee. An hour? I highly doubt it.
...
I made it 38 minutes.
Before I ever peed on that stick, my water intake tripled. Literally overnight. I am not the world's most hydrated person. I have a small bladder and have to pee all the time and it's tiresome to be getting up and down all day because I had one sip of water. I have had problems with kidney stones in the past (not fun, p.s.), so I try to drink more water, but in general, I barely get more than a few cups in a day. But right around the time I got pregnant, I suddenly couldn't get enough water. I was drinking all. The Time. And still felt so thirsty. I was shocked to realize one day that I was drinking about a gallon of water per day suddenly. This, from a girl who previously was struggling to get 32 ounces in.
There are many reasons for the increased thirst, but I think primarily it's because you are increasing the amount of blood in your body. Pregnant women have about 50% more blood than when they are not pregnant, plus, you have to make amniotic fluid. In short, you need a lot of water. Even though I am drinking a gallon of water every day, I still feel thirsty. I will drink so much water that I feel sloshy but still have a dry mouth. It's weird. I still have to pee all the time - more so now that my bladder is sharing real estate with a whole person - but at least I work at home and am never far from a bathroom. It's irritating that it's on a different floor of the house, but I'm counting all those stairs as daily exercise.
The reason I bring this up now is because we have the anatomy scan ultrasound looming. In two short weeks we'll be going in to make sure our baby has all the requisite parts and to find out which parts it has. One of the conditions for the ultrasound is you have to drink 32 ounces of water an hour before the ultrasound and then not pee until after the ultrasound is done. I don't think I can do it guys. I'm doing a test today to see how far I can make it. I chugged 32 ounces of water and I'm watching the clock to see how long I can wait to pee. An hour? I highly doubt it.
...
I made it 38 minutes.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I know this sounds silly, but...
I am seriously concerned about my belly button. I have an innie. A deep innie. And I swore up and down that my belly button would never pop out. How could it?! It defies the laws of physics!
Except now it's stretched out quite a bit, and is looking like it might go flat soon. And then? It can only invert! This makes no sense, people! Do all pregnant belly buttons pop out?! Is this an unavoidable fact of pregnancy, no matter how "in" you thought your belly button was?! When does it go back in? Will it ever regain its former grandeur as an innie?!
I'm starting to think that it is, especially given that they sell belly button cover ups for pregnant women... And they are called Popper Stoppers. I'm not sure if I should be amused or appalled. It's a bit of both right now.
Except now it's stretched out quite a bit, and is looking like it might go flat soon. And then? It can only invert! This makes no sense, people! Do all pregnant belly buttons pop out?! Is this an unavoidable fact of pregnancy, no matter how "in" you thought your belly button was?! When does it go back in? Will it ever regain its former grandeur as an innie?!
I'm starting to think that it is, especially given that they sell belly button cover ups for pregnant women... And they are called Popper Stoppers. I'm not sure if I should be amused or appalled. It's a bit of both right now.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Crisis Averted.
Turns out, the email address given to me for the midwives isn't working yet. They just moved in to a new birthing center last month and are still working all the kinks out of the IT system. I'm still a little miffed that the one didn't bother to return my phone call, but I'm willing to let it go.
We made an appointment for a second ultrasound on my birthday. Best birthday present ever? Finding out the gender of our baby. If that were the only reason to do it, we wouldn't bother with the ultrasound, but since we're not going to be in a hospital for the birth, it's better to have one more check to make sure everything is developing as it should. If there are any potential problems, we might be able to identify them early and at least prepare for the outcome, whether that means follow ups after birth or changing our plans about where we have the birth. I'm excited to get another peak in there anyway.
I did a little bit more research on the B12 issue over the weekend, and I still think veganism is a go for me. My pre-natal vitamin is supplemented with B12, and many vegans get the vitamin through supplemented foods. In fact, supplements are recommended for older people anyway, regardless of diet, as your body's ability to adsorb B12 diminishes over time. As I suspected, it's not found in animal proteins only, it's produced by bacteria. The potential bias of The Huffington Post notwithstanding, this article lays out a pretty convincing foundation, and interviews some highly respected authors on the subject of veganism, including T. Colin Campbell, the author of The China Study. A good friend sent me this link and it was exactly the article I was looking for. Most of my research was randomly scattered about the Internet, and I try to not put too much faith in Wikipedia...
We made an appointment for a second ultrasound on my birthday. Best birthday present ever? Finding out the gender of our baby. If that were the only reason to do it, we wouldn't bother with the ultrasound, but since we're not going to be in a hospital for the birth, it's better to have one more check to make sure everything is developing as it should. If there are any potential problems, we might be able to identify them early and at least prepare for the outcome, whether that means follow ups after birth or changing our plans about where we have the birth. I'm excited to get another peak in there anyway.
I did a little bit more research on the B12 issue over the weekend, and I still think veganism is a go for me. My pre-natal vitamin is supplemented with B12, and many vegans get the vitamin through supplemented foods. In fact, supplements are recommended for older people anyway, regardless of diet, as your body's ability to adsorb B12 diminishes over time. As I suspected, it's not found in animal proteins only, it's produced by bacteria. The potential bias of The Huffington Post notwithstanding, this article lays out a pretty convincing foundation, and interviews some highly respected authors on the subject of veganism, including T. Colin Campbell, the author of The China Study. A good friend sent me this link and it was exactly the article I was looking for. Most of my research was randomly scattered about the Internet, and I try to not put too much faith in Wikipedia...
Friday, September 9, 2011
On communication.
We all know this: communication is important. Very important. Extremely important. Being able to communicate effectively solves all sorts of problems, many before they even arise. One of the cornerstones of my relationship with Allen (and with anyone else I'm close to) is open and honest communication.
This is when you realize I'm about to rant about something, right?
I am... Displeased. With the communication from my midwives. I understand they are busy. They are two midwives running a practice with a brand new birthing center and 15 births per month. But seriously? I have not had a single phone call or email returned to me yet. Not one. And I. Am. Over it. The records my OB's office sent were missing important blood work. So I called to have it faxed over. Got no word from the midwives if they received it or not. Not even after I called them about it. Twice. And not after the email I sent either. Oh, and the first email address bounced as non-existent.
Same goes for the note I need to get admin leave at work so I can get up from my desk and move around or stretch or otherwise not have to sit stationary at a computer for 10 freaking hours a day. Two calls, 1 email, nothing. These women come off as caring and warm and genuinely concerned about my welfare. "Call us day or night if you need anything!", they gush at me. If I can't get them to return a phone call about whether or not they got blood work, how on earth can I expect them to return my phone calls when I'm in freaking labor?! I realize that some of this is over-reaction. My hormones are off-kilter because I'm pregnant. I get it. But they should be better about communicating with their patients if they expect to keep them, bottom line. I'm sending one more email and if they can't get it together, I'm going back to my OB. At least they return my %$#^%$ phone calls.
This is when you realize I'm about to rant about something, right?
I am... Displeased. With the communication from my midwives. I understand they are busy. They are two midwives running a practice with a brand new birthing center and 15 births per month. But seriously? I have not had a single phone call or email returned to me yet. Not one. And I. Am. Over it. The records my OB's office sent were missing important blood work. So I called to have it faxed over. Got no word from the midwives if they received it or not. Not even after I called them about it. Twice. And not after the email I sent either. Oh, and the first email address bounced as non-existent.
Same goes for the note I need to get admin leave at work so I can get up from my desk and move around or stretch or otherwise not have to sit stationary at a computer for 10 freaking hours a day. Two calls, 1 email, nothing. These women come off as caring and warm and genuinely concerned about my welfare. "Call us day or night if you need anything!", they gush at me. If I can't get them to return a phone call about whether or not they got blood work, how on earth can I expect them to return my phone calls when I'm in freaking labor?! I realize that some of this is over-reaction. My hormones are off-kilter because I'm pregnant. I get it. But they should be better about communicating with their patients if they expect to keep them, bottom line. I'm sending one more email and if they can't get it together, I'm going back to my OB. At least they return my %$#^%$ phone calls.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Midwives love the Paleo Diet.
It must be a thing they teach in midwifery school or something. Both of the midwife groups we've talked to have encouraged the Paleo diet. I get it. I do. Eat only things that your ancestors would recognize as food. No processed crap. No refined carbs or sugars. There are a lot of great aspects to the diet that we actually follow. But on the whole, it's just not for us. There is too much emphasis on meat. And I gotta say: our Paleolithic ancestors were not eating a ton of meat. They had a feast of it when they brought down a big kill, but the winter months were pretty lean on the ground for meat sources. They had small portions of meat and most of their diet was made up of foraged food. They were Hunter/Gatherers. Not Hunter/Hunters.
But that's not really the point. The point is, I see many merits to the diet, but I don't want that much animal protein in my system. There is a lot of evidence to show that it just isn't that good for you in large (a.k.a American) quantities. And I want to know where my food comes from. If I don't know the farmer, how do I know how he treats his animals and his land and his workers? How do I know the animal had a good life before becoming my dinner? Also, I am a lifelong vegetarian. Meat does not smell good to me. In fact, it smells really gross. I cannot ever see a time when I will eat meat. Never had it before now, so why start?
Having said that, I could see a time when we add some small bits of dairy back into our diet. The midwives get their cheese and milk from an Amish farmer directly, so they know the animals are treated with care and respect and love, and the farmer is ethical in his practices. That doesn't sound so bad... They asked me to consider adding some dairy in as a source of B12. This vitamin can be hard for vegans to get, since it is primarily found in meat and diary sources. I'll need to do more research on it first. On the one hand, being deficient in a crucial vitamin means your diet isn't sustainable. I've long believed that if you have to take supplements (not counting prenatal supplements), you aren't doing your diet right. On the other hand, I'm not positive that it can't be found in vegan sources. One midwife told me it was only found in animal proteins, but I'm pretty sure that just isn't true. It's just harder to find in veg sources (and maybe harder to access?). My understanding is that B12 is a byproduct of a bacteria that lives on food. Since we wash our fruits and veggies before eating them, we wash all of that bacteria and B12 away. But we don't wash meat, we cook it. As such, the bacteria is destroyed but the byproduct - B12 - is left behind. Like I said, more research. My prenatal vitamin has B12 as a component, so I have some time.
The other thing the midwife said that is potentially cause for concern is that she sees postpartum hemorrhaging more frequently in vegan mothers. Now, this is all anecdotal, and I'm inclined to put less weight in the statement, but it's worth thinking about in general. Overall, however, my blood work came back from the lab "perfect" according to my OB. My iron, calcium, etc., etc., are all in a good range, so I'm not noticeably deficient in anything right now. Like I said, I have some time, but we are considering all of our options. I'm also undecided about the raw vs. pasteurized issue. I understand the raw proponents - you want those probiotics that live in dairy for your own healthy digestion. And there are some horror stories from dairies about how they get the bacterial counts down... (Bleach. Seriously.) But there are also some pretty nasty bacteria that thrive and flourish in dairy, particularly if the farm is not as careful about sanitizing. It's a hot-button topic, and both sides have "evidence" to support their claims. I'm not really interested in being dragged into it. Plus, pasteurization has saved countless lives - mainly children and those with weakened immune systems - since its invention. And I won't even get into whether or not human beings should even be eating dairy products in the first place. That's a discussion for another day. (And a shorter post than this one has become.)
And I'm not a huge fan of the raw milk proponents speech around the issue. I have frequently heard pasteurized milk referred to as "dead milk" with a condescending sneer. Most of these people don't mind eating dead animals, so I don't really get the holier-than-thou attitude about raw versus pasteurized milk. It's, at minimum, not helpful. The best way to win someone over to your cause is not to regurgitate pejorative rhetoric, but rather to present facts. Sometimes it seems that diet is the new religion, with all of the associate faith required. I fully recognize that my diet isn't optimal for everyone on the planet. In fact, I would go so far as to say that human beings are not designed to be vegan, but rather slightly omnivorous. My choice is in part a reaction to American gluttony, and in part due my sensitivity over the treatment of animals in our society. But I do stand by the idea that we all need to eat less meat and dairy. That's been proven time and again in study after study.
Aside from all that, though I love chevre and feta and cheese in general, and yogurt, the idea of dairy seems gross to me now. I've lived without it for almost four years, and the thought of adding some back into my diet is both appealing and disgusting. I also keep going back to The China Study. That book changed my life and my diet, and I highly recommend it. The author (T. Colin Campbell, a professor at Cornell University) basically advocates for a 95% vegan diet, but since it's difficult to make sure that you are getting no more than 5% animal protein, it's easier to just eat vegan, and have some feta on your salad once every year or something. One of the most interesting conclusions drawn in the book was that the countries with the highest dairy intake also have the highest rates of osteoporosis. Yes, milk has a ton of calcium. But you can't absorb most of it. And milk also has a ton of protein, which raises the acidity of your blood and not only makes it harder to absorb calcium from outside sources, but can induce your body to leech calcium from your bones in order to balance the pH of your blood. (I am paraphrasing from the book. The study was well-designed and well explained, so you should read it yourself rather than take my word for it.) The bottom line is that the dairy farmers lobbying groups have used specious reasoning. "Milk has a lot of calcium. Humans need calcium. You should drink milk." There are quite a few leaps of faith in between those sentences that they count on the public to make, which aren't necessarily true.
I kind of got derailed in this post and rambled around quite a bit... The main point is that our diet is a work in progress. We are constantly re-evaluating and adjusting. We're taking the dairy thing under advisement, but for now we're staying the course.
But that's not really the point. The point is, I see many merits to the diet, but I don't want that much animal protein in my system. There is a lot of evidence to show that it just isn't that good for you in large (a.k.a American) quantities. And I want to know where my food comes from. If I don't know the farmer, how do I know how he treats his animals and his land and his workers? How do I know the animal had a good life before becoming my dinner? Also, I am a lifelong vegetarian. Meat does not smell good to me. In fact, it smells really gross. I cannot ever see a time when I will eat meat. Never had it before now, so why start?
Having said that, I could see a time when we add some small bits of dairy back into our diet. The midwives get their cheese and milk from an Amish farmer directly, so they know the animals are treated with care and respect and love, and the farmer is ethical in his practices. That doesn't sound so bad... They asked me to consider adding some dairy in as a source of B12. This vitamin can be hard for vegans to get, since it is primarily found in meat and diary sources. I'll need to do more research on it first. On the one hand, being deficient in a crucial vitamin means your diet isn't sustainable. I've long believed that if you have to take supplements (not counting prenatal supplements), you aren't doing your diet right. On the other hand, I'm not positive that it can't be found in vegan sources. One midwife told me it was only found in animal proteins, but I'm pretty sure that just isn't true. It's just harder to find in veg sources (and maybe harder to access?). My understanding is that B12 is a byproduct of a bacteria that lives on food. Since we wash our fruits and veggies before eating them, we wash all of that bacteria and B12 away. But we don't wash meat, we cook it. As such, the bacteria is destroyed but the byproduct - B12 - is left behind. Like I said, more research. My prenatal vitamin has B12 as a component, so I have some time.
The other thing the midwife said that is potentially cause for concern is that she sees postpartum hemorrhaging more frequently in vegan mothers. Now, this is all anecdotal, and I'm inclined to put less weight in the statement, but it's worth thinking about in general. Overall, however, my blood work came back from the lab "perfect" according to my OB. My iron, calcium, etc., etc., are all in a good range, so I'm not noticeably deficient in anything right now. Like I said, I have some time, but we are considering all of our options. I'm also undecided about the raw vs. pasteurized issue. I understand the raw proponents - you want those probiotics that live in dairy for your own healthy digestion. And there are some horror stories from dairies about how they get the bacterial counts down... (Bleach. Seriously.) But there are also some pretty nasty bacteria that thrive and flourish in dairy, particularly if the farm is not as careful about sanitizing. It's a hot-button topic, and both sides have "evidence" to support their claims. I'm not really interested in being dragged into it. Plus, pasteurization has saved countless lives - mainly children and those with weakened immune systems - since its invention. And I won't even get into whether or not human beings should even be eating dairy products in the first place. That's a discussion for another day. (And a shorter post than this one has become.)
And I'm not a huge fan of the raw milk proponents speech around the issue. I have frequently heard pasteurized milk referred to as "dead milk" with a condescending sneer. Most of these people don't mind eating dead animals, so I don't really get the holier-than-thou attitude about raw versus pasteurized milk. It's, at minimum, not helpful. The best way to win someone over to your cause is not to regurgitate pejorative rhetoric, but rather to present facts. Sometimes it seems that diet is the new religion, with all of the associate faith required. I fully recognize that my diet isn't optimal for everyone on the planet. In fact, I would go so far as to say that human beings are not designed to be vegan, but rather slightly omnivorous. My choice is in part a reaction to American gluttony, and in part due my sensitivity over the treatment of animals in our society. But I do stand by the idea that we all need to eat less meat and dairy. That's been proven time and again in study after study.
Aside from all that, though I love chevre and feta and cheese in general, and yogurt, the idea of dairy seems gross to me now. I've lived without it for almost four years, and the thought of adding some back into my diet is both appealing and disgusting. I also keep going back to The China Study. That book changed my life and my diet, and I highly recommend it. The author (T. Colin Campbell, a professor at Cornell University) basically advocates for a 95% vegan diet, but since it's difficult to make sure that you are getting no more than 5% animal protein, it's easier to just eat vegan, and have some feta on your salad once every year or something. One of the most interesting conclusions drawn in the book was that the countries with the highest dairy intake also have the highest rates of osteoporosis. Yes, milk has a ton of calcium. But you can't absorb most of it. And milk also has a ton of protein, which raises the acidity of your blood and not only makes it harder to absorb calcium from outside sources, but can induce your body to leech calcium from your bones in order to balance the pH of your blood. (I am paraphrasing from the book. The study was well-designed and well explained, so you should read it yourself rather than take my word for it.) The bottom line is that the dairy farmers lobbying groups have used specious reasoning. "Milk has a lot of calcium. Humans need calcium. You should drink milk." There are quite a few leaps of faith in between those sentences that they count on the public to make, which aren't necessarily true.
I kind of got derailed in this post and rambled around quite a bit... The main point is that our diet is a work in progress. We are constantly re-evaluating and adjusting. We're taking the dairy thing under advisement, but for now we're staying the course.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Clocking in at 154 BPM.
Yesterday was our first appointment with the midwives. It was a great appointment and we had some good discussions about diet and exercise. We also got to hear the baby's heartbeat again - I will never get tired of that sound! It's 154 beats per minute now, which is right where it should be. I also got to feel my uterus through my belly. Kind of freaky, but now I have tangible evidence that it's growing! I haven't felt any movement yet - well, I haven't felt anything that I'm sure was movement. I expect that to happen in the next few weeks, though.
We're also doing all of the admin stuff around having a baby: scheduling birthing classes, calling insurance companies, thinking about house prep. There's a lot to do and I feel like I don't have enough hours in the day to get it all done. Since I am planning to be a stay-at-home-mom, I now have a new appreciation for how hard it is to be a working Mama! Props to all you lovely ladies out there who balance work and kids - mine isn't even here yet and it is tough!!
I'mma get all sentimental and stereotypical on you guys for a minute here...
I'm a little amazed at what is going on here. I am growing a person! It's all such a normal and natural biological function that every species can do: reproduce. And yet, I feel so awed by the feat. It's completely common and normal and so completely amazing and complicated at the same time. And as my belly expands (and believe me, it is expanding!), I feel more and more like I am the vessel for a gift that we get to open in February. The box outside is neat looking, but the real treasure lies within. I am intensely curious about how our baby will look. Will it be a boy or a girl? Will (s)he look like me or Allen? My blue eyes and Allen's black hair? Or Allen's gorgeous hazel eyes and (by some stroke of luck) auburn red hair that runs on my side of the family? (Though it seems to have skipped me...) I've never been one for delayed gratification, so on the one hand, February can't get here fast enough! But on the other hand, I'm really reveling in the wonder of my new state of being - even if I can't savor the mystery over a martini... Plus, we have so much work to do, I really need time to slow down for a bit.
I know, I know. I sound like every other first-timer, ever. But seriously, you guys... I am growing a person in here!
We're also doing all of the admin stuff around having a baby: scheduling birthing classes, calling insurance companies, thinking about house prep. There's a lot to do and I feel like I don't have enough hours in the day to get it all done. Since I am planning to be a stay-at-home-mom, I now have a new appreciation for how hard it is to be a working Mama! Props to all you lovely ladies out there who balance work and kids - mine isn't even here yet and it is tough!!
I'mma get all sentimental and stereotypical on you guys for a minute here...
I'm a little amazed at what is going on here. I am growing a person! It's all such a normal and natural biological function that every species can do: reproduce. And yet, I feel so awed by the feat. It's completely common and normal and so completely amazing and complicated at the same time. And as my belly expands (and believe me, it is expanding!), I feel more and more like I am the vessel for a gift that we get to open in February. The box outside is neat looking, but the real treasure lies within. I am intensely curious about how our baby will look. Will it be a boy or a girl? Will (s)he look like me or Allen? My blue eyes and Allen's black hair? Or Allen's gorgeous hazel eyes and (by some stroke of luck) auburn red hair that runs on my side of the family? (Though it seems to have skipped me...) I've never been one for delayed gratification, so on the one hand, February can't get here fast enough! But on the other hand, I'm really reveling in the wonder of my new state of being - even if I can't savor the mystery over a martini... Plus, we have so much work to do, I really need time to slow down for a bit.
I know, I know. I sound like every other first-timer, ever. But seriously, you guys... I am growing a person in here!
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