Why would anyone choose this?

Recovering from a c-section is hard, people. For reals. Having been through the experience, I have no idea why anyone would choose a c-section over a natural childbirth on purpose. The recovery is long and arduous. I had a catheter in place for the epidural and surgery and I was upset that the nurses removed it 12 hours after the surgery because I knew that meant I'd have to get up to go to the bathroom. Sorry to be so graphic, but it's true. Just moving was agonizing in that first week. And my pace was sooooooo slow. Keep in mind that I'm from the South and no one walks fast there. So when I say slow, know that I'm measuring it against the Southern pace and you'll get an idea of just how slow I was going. And, oh sweet Jesus, laughing, coughing, sneezing, sitting up in bed, getting out of bed... Any of that was pure agony. Allen is a pretty funny guy and makes me laugh all the time. I had to stop him about 50 times in that first week from making jokes.

It wasn't as painful the second week, but I was still pretty sore. The nurses removed the staples holding the incision together before I left the hospital and replaced it with surgical tape. Allen had to take the tape off for me at the end of the second week because I couldn't see over the postpartum chub to do it myself. The weird thing is that there is a swath of skin around the incision - say two inches on the top and bottom - that has almost no sensation. It's like when your foot falls asleep and just barely starts to wake back up. The nerve endings get severed along with everything else when they cut you open. No one tells you this beforehand, by the way. (I actually did have foreknowledge from a friend who had a c-section...) So removing the tape didn't hurt peeling off my skin, but was painful and nerve-wracking peeling off the incision itself. Also, in the second week? That incision starts to itch like freaking crazy. It still itches but I'm afraid to scratch it because a) I'm afraid I'll tear open the incision itself, and b) I'm afraid I'll tear open the skin around the incision that is marred by stretch marks. (I've done that a few times already. Scratched an area that has a stretch mark and ripped open that skin - presumably because it's already damaged and thinner than the surrounding skin. It's not fun.)

The third week is better in terms of pain. I'm a little bit sore, but I've been off pain meds for about a week now. But I get ridiculously tired by the end of the day doing minimal activity. Above and beyond the normal "I have a newborn and am getting no sleep" tired. And having a c-section doesn't spare you any of the bleeding or cramping postpartum. You still get to do all of that, too, with the added "benefit" of recovering from major surgery. Fun.

The other things that suck about a c-section are all the restrictions. It's major abdominal surgery, but what that actually means is you can't drive for three weeks afterwards. You can't (or shouldn't) climb up and down stairs for two weeks after. This particularly sucks if you live in a three level house because it means you are confined to the floor with the bathroom. Ask me how I know. Related: ask me how I didn't go insane. It was a close call. You also can't do any abdominal exercises for at least two months postpartum, and you can't soak in water (no baths, no pools) for two months. Yeah. That's a lot of restrictions.

Don't get me wrong: I still feel 100% that the c-section was the right call for us. I am totally at peace with, and even happy about how our birth story came out in the end. But after having the experience, going through the surgery and the recovery (and I'm only three weeks in to the recovery), I really can't fathom why anyone would choose a c-section over a vaginal delivery. I suppose they think they are sparing themselves pain or some other unpleasantness in the lady-bits, but unless you have very serious complications, I can promise you will be happier with a vaginal childbirth. The only thing a c-section spares you is the pain up front. But that's really only if you schedule one in advance and don't go into labor. If you are "lucky", like me, you get to have 30 hours of labor and a c-section. All in all, labor is a scary prospect. But I promise that you will be happier, have a shorter recovery time and have an easier time caring for your newborn if you opt for a vaginal delivery. (Though that epidural was nice, not gonna lie.)

Giant baby hysteria.

I had a low lying placenta placement and had to have an ultrasound at 35 weeks to make sure it had moved up and out of the way. At that ultrasound, I'm sure you remember me ranting about this, the tech tried to tell us that the baby was already over 7 pounds. Which, given the weight gain they do in the last month, put us on par for an over 10 pound baby. You may also remember me dismissing this as crap.

As we passed the due date and the midwives got increasingly nervous about getting labor started, they also tried to tell me he was going to be a big baby and we should try to get him out sooner rather than later because all he was doing was putting on weight. They could "tell" by direct palpation of my belly. Now, throughout my pregnancy, the midwives had been emphasizing that you will grow the right size baby for your body, and only in the rarest of circumstances will you grow a baby that is "too big". So why all the concern about a huge baby?

What, really is the difference between a 7 pound and a 10 pound baby? The head can't be much, if any bigger. It's really just the body that would have extra fat on it. So why all the hysterics? Maybe because of other complications further down the line? I have no idea. With some midwives, they assured me that a 10 pound baby was not going to be a problem for me to deliver, but towards the end, everyone seemed to latch on to that as a reason to get me to try various induction methods - like the dreaded foley catheter.

The punchline of this whole story? My son was born at 7 pounds, 11 ounces. And he was 11 days overdue. Had he been born "on time" at 40 weeks, he would have likely been under 7 pounds. So all this hysteria about having a giant baby was for nothing. It was just one more way to stress me out about an already stressful situation. I've said this before and I'll say it again: the weight estimate via ultrasound is crap. It's almost always wrong, and you shouldn't let anyone make decisions about your healthcare based on that information. Maybe, if you combine that information with other fact-based data - like having gestational diabetes or something - then you could consider it. But otherwise? Don't even let them give you the number. It will make you worry unnecessarily about something you can't do anything about. (Ask me how I know.)

Spoiler alert: I had a c-section.

I know. Of all the people to have a c-section, it had to be the girl ranting about the ridiculous increase in c-sections and how many of them are performed unnecessarily. In my defense, I have also been saying that when they are necessary, they are extremely useful and I am grateful we have access to the medical technology. I just happened to be one of the few who actually needed one.

I'm still not sure how much detail I want to go into in a public forum, but the gist is that I was in active labor for 30 hours, 20 hours under direct midwife supervision. I couldn't eat, was getting dehydrated and was rapidly losing energy. My cervix never got much past 80% effaced and 5or 6 cm dilated, and the baby was not moving down. The my cervix started to re-harden. Un-efface, if you will. We made the decision to go to the hospital for an epidural.

Yep. I had an epidural. It was absolute magic. I was exhausted, and the contractions were agonizing. I was sobbing through each one and when I got dehydrated, dry sobbing. Then the back labor kicked in - the baby was still pretty actively moving around in there, and the vomiting started not long after that. Before we went to the hospital, I had the distinct thought, "I am in serious trouble, here." I was beginning to move from worried to terrified. When that anesthesiologist walked in with the epidural... I have never been more relieved to see anyone in my life. Eventually, the epidural wore off some on the right side and I had to have it increased. I was tipped over to the left to keep the baby's heart rate up and such and so the epidural was flowing away from the right side. I should mention that this epidural was crazy strong. I couldn't feel my legs. But I was so exhausted and in so much pain that I didn't care. I was just so glad to have some relief from the pain. And honestly, after 30 hours? I think I earned it. And I'm leaving out the more gory details about stretching membranes and how it was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Bar none. And I've had multiple piercings.

So, under the influence of an epidural and pitocin, I finally fully effaced and dilated, and pushed for and hour and a half. I didn't understand time-travel in relation to labor until then. Because it seemed like the blink of an eye. The baby's heart rate had been dropping and then took a pretty severe dip. This, in combination with the meconium in the amniotic fluid, and the fact that he still wasn't moving down into my pelvis despite pushing, made the doctor call it. Time for a c-section. I cried. A lot. But ultimately, I recognized that we had tried literally every other option. Time to move on.

Our Butterbean was born on February 28. He had the cord wrapped around his neck twice and his legs once. He couldn't move down into my pelvis because he was so tangled up. He also had to have his lungs suctioned to make sure he didn't aspirate any meconium. Aside from the doctor who delivered him and the pediatric nurse who worked on him immediately afterward, Allen was the first to hold him. Once I was all sewn up, they let me have skin to skin contact with him all the way back to the room. They never pushed formula, never took him out of our sight. They did take him to the nursery a few times for tests and pediatrician visits, but Allen stayed with him the whole time. All in all, we were pretty impressed and pleased with how they treated us. We didn't have to fight them on anything. It was a much better experience than I could have hoped for.

Recovering from a c-section sucks. I have no idea why anyone would choose this over a vaginal delivery. It's major abdominal surgery and it's tough to bounce back from. Plus, epidurals mean a groggy baby. And a c-section means no delayed cord clamping and no immediate contact with your baby. Having said all of that, I have absolutely no regrets about the c-section. It was absolutely the right decision and I am grateful to the doctors and nurses who delivered our baby guy into the world. If we didn't have access to the medical technology, we would have had a very poor outcome for both me and the baby.

A c-section was my very last choice in delivery options, and I still kind of can't believe I ended up having one. But I am positive that it was the right decision. And though I am in the throes of recovery and all that entails, I look at my beautiful, perfect, healthy son and I can't be anything but grateful.