34 weeks.

Tomorrow I hit 34 weeks pregnant.

Sometimes I wish this were a video blog so you could see my face as I type that out. It's so far from where I imagined myself last year at this time, and yet so completely amazing and wonderful. My belly is still growing (as evidenced by how starving I am all the time) and the kicks and somersaults are getting stronger and more frequent. I have loved every minute of being pregnant, and I can't believe how far along I am! I can't believe it's almost over! Six weeks seems like such a long and short time, all at the same time. Well, it probably seems short because of all the stuff we still have left to do, like buy a freaking crib and changing table...

I never intended to be one of those women who goes on and on (and on) about how amazing pregnancy is and the miracle of it all, and yet, I find that I can't not be that girl. Maybe it's because I am coming from a place where I thought I would never be pregnant? Maybe it's because pregnancy is magic? I can't be sure, but I suspect it's a combo of the two. And while I am totally and completely enamored with the process and the little miracle growing in my womb, I am also completely confident that I will feel the same way about any children we eventually adopt. The two paths are so very different, but the love you feel in the end is the same.

I'm rambling a bit (not unusual, I know), but it's mainly because I am just not poetic enough to put into words how I feel about this moment in my life. In six short weeks (give or take), we will be meeting our son for the first time. He is a tangible, living, moving being. I know him intimately and yet he is completely unknown to me. My body is forever changed, and our lives are forever changed. And just when I stop reeling from the last round of "oh my god, I can't believe it's already been...", a new wave starts. I'm not a religious person, but I feel almost as though I've been caught in the numinous. Like I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to understand something that is so much bigger than me or Allen. That the simple math of 1+1 could equal something so much larger than two. Or three.

I'm excited to meet our little Butterbean, but I am so thankful to have these last few weeks to be pregnant. Partly because I am still enjoying it so much, but truthfully, also partly because we still have to buy baby furniture and come up with a name. Heh. It's not all magic and fairy dust, I suppose. :-)