Oof.

So, hi. It's been a while. In addition to trying to find free time with a baby (impossible, FYI), I've been pondering what to do with the blog. My whole life revolves around Butterbean - in a good way, not in an unhealthy, "I should get out more and stop helicopter parenting" way - and as such, I have very little to discuss that doesn't directly involve or pertain to him. Allen and I are very consciously trying to minimize his digital footprint until such time as he can control it directly. He should have a say in what is put up about him on the Internet for everyone to see for all eternity. (Or until civilization collapses and the Internet doesn't exist anymore.) So, what do I talk about?

I've discovered some amazing things about motherhood in general. First of all, post-partum hair loss starts around the time your baby is eight-ish weeks old, but really starts to kick into high gear around 10-12 weeks. I'm pulling out fist-fulls of hair when I brush now. Pregnancy was fabulous - I didn't lose any hair so I had a full head of thick, beautiful locks. That is all a distant memory now. Also, TMI warning, the hair on my underarms and legs hardly grew at all, while the hair on my head grew like crazy. Again, now a thing of the past. Not that I was ever a particularly hairy person, thankfully, but still. Sigh.

On a positive note, I've lost all but about two to five pounds of my pregnancy weight! Breastfeeding rocks, guys. For serious. I haven't done anything other than breastfeed and carry that baby around. Granted, I still have the 40 pounds I should have lost before I got pregnant, but we're taking baby steps here.

Speaking of breastfeeding, I finally feel like we've got it down. And I, apparently, am a freaking milk making machine. So, I decided to donate breastmilk. There are a few Facebook groups that will coordinate women who have extra with women who need extra, but the thing that bothers me about that is that it's unvetted. You can pass communicable diseases through breastmilk, and while I know my own medical history is free and clear, these women don't. They have to take my word for it, which seems... Sketchy. So, I'm donating to a milk bank (Milkin' Mamas) who in turn sell to a pharmaceutical company (Prolacta Bioscience) who concentrates the milk down into a human milk protein supplement for NICU babies and sells it to hospitals around the country. On the one hand, I feel good that my extra milk is helping NICU babies, but on the other hand it bothers me that I am donating and these companies are making a (serious) profit off of it. Well, Milkin' Mamas at least makes a donation to a different charity each month on behalf of all the donating moms.

I know I've said this before, but I am having a hard time balancing my time. I have a lot of time during the day to go places and do things (with Butterbean in tow), but most of my friends work or have other obligations during the day. Evenings and weekends tend to be difficult because it's the only opportunity I have to spend time with Allen, and quite frankly, I'm usually exhausted by the end of the day. I am trying to make more of an effort to get out in the evenings. I feel like I've been pretty neglectful of some friends that have been nothing but kind and understanding. Ladies, I promise I'm trying to get my act together. Every day gets easier as Butterbean gets older and we get to know each other better.

It's a work in progress.