The decision is made. For now.

We've decided to wait. We're going to start the paperwork for the Waiting Child program in China in 6 months. This is the hard part - the waiting. Our reasons seem logical to us, but really, we're guessing and going on gut feelings.

First: Adopting through this program will mean an older baby - say 18 months or so. But we could find a child up to, say, 3 years old. Since this child will have more self awareness and more memories than an infant, we feel that the transition will be easier if there are no other children in the house and we can devote 100% of our time and attention.

Second: This child will have a special need of some form, and will need extra care and attention, even if it's only extra pediatrician visits.

Third: Our new child will likely be a bit behind, developmentally speaking, and will need more care than a "normal" child of that age. This is a byproduct of being raised in institutional care. No matter how good it is, there is simply no way to nurture all of the needs of any one child in the institution. We also will likely be dealing with a language barrier. Even if our child is not speaking yet, (s)he will have heard mostly (if not exclusively) Mandarin or Cantonese and will not necessarily understand English.

The other benefit to waiting a bit is that I'll have a chance to follow up with a fertility doctor and find out what exactly "FSH levels too high" means. I'm pretty positive that I'm not going down the IVF path, but having some extra information couldn't hurt, at this point. I think. Though the main problem with knowledge is that once you know, you can't un-know. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. 

Since we can't start any of the paperwork until this summer, I have devised several ways to keep myself from going crazy during the extended waiting period. I'm going to start researching common birth defects seen in this program, and start thinking about the treatments and other requirements. I'm also going to start looking into language immersion classes for both adults and children. Ideally, I'd love to learn some Chinese now, but I don't know if I need to learn Mandarin or Cantonese... That's a question for the agency, I think.

We know our timeline now, so we'll also be socking away as much savings as possible. I'd like to take at least one more big trip - maybe Japan again? - before we go down to one salary and up to one child. And we'll also need to save up for a trip for two to China to pick up our little one! I'm really excited, and the wait is going to drive me crazy, but I know that in 2 years (or less) we'll have our very own baby! And realistically speaking, it could take that long for a domestic adoption to go through. Hopefully, I'll have something interesting to post about during the next 6 months. Other than "still waiting", at least. Tune in to find out! :-)