More weird dreams.

I was warned about pregnant women having weird dreams. It's in all the books. But I have been having some seriously weird dreams.

Last night I had a dream that I gave birth to our baby two months early. But the baby was over eight pounds. And my milk wouldn't come in, but I kept trying to nurse him because I so desperately didn't want to use formula. And in my dream? Breastfeeding was hella weird, guys. Almost creepy. I distinctly remember being a little creeped out by it. Um, that will pass, right?? And while I remember being scared in my dream because it was so early, I also remember being relieved. I can remember having the thought, "No wonder I looked nine months pregnant for so long! That kid would have been huge if he had gone to term!"

I think I'm feeling a little self-conscious about my baby-belly. I'm just barely four months along now, but I look like I'm five or six months. I know women show at different rates, but since I came a little pre-padded, well, I guess I'm feeling like I shouldn't be showing as much as I am. On the one hand, I'm super proud of the belly and love showing it off in maternity clothes. On the other hand, I'm vaguely embarrassed by how big it is. I know, I know. It's only going to get bigger! But at least then I'll be farther along!

Also, I feel like time is flying by all of the sudden. Waiting to get through the first trimester was agony. It felt like it took forever. And now, time is suddenly speeding up. Passing without my notice or approval. I think it hit me the other day when I said to Allen, "You know, we're going to have a baby in five or six months." It took us both by surprise. We have so much left to do! Ahem. What I mean is, we have so much to do that we haven't actually started yet. Better get on that, huh?