Battleground.

Wow. Just wow.

I went to my OB/GYN today for my "last" prenatal visit. I had some questions about getting vaccinations (flu and whooping cough, to be exact), and I needed a copy of my blood work for the midwives. I also thought it would be courteous to tell my doctor that I really respected her and liked her, and while I was avoiding the hospital for my baby's birth, it was nothing personal - it was Inova's sky-high c-section rate (43.6% at last count).

As is typical in my doctor's office, I waited for over an hour to see her for less than five minutes. I had my iPod to occupy me, so I don't mind waiting. It took me three tries to find a doctor I liked and I am willing to wait for her. I went back to do the blood pressure/pee in a cup/weight thing with the nurse on staff who asked if I was "transferring". (She had gotten me a copy of my blood work.) I happily said yes, I was going to a midwife group for the delivery. She, in a whisper, told me that it was her ambition to become a midwife and she was starting training soon, but that she could never tell anyone in the office because "midwife" was a dirty word. This should have been my first red flag.

When the doctor finally came in, she asked about transferring. I assumed she would be somewhat supportive because I had a discussion with her a few months ago (at one of my first prenatal visits) about being a homebirth baby and having midwives in the family. She was very upbeat about it at the  time, so I assumed she'd understand that I would want a natural, normal childbirth, free of unnecessary interventions. What a naive girl I was...

She politely, if coolly, answered my questions about vaccinations. (Yes, get a flu shot. Wait until after the birth to get a whooping cough shot, though Allen can get one now.) She also told me my belly was measuring normal, which is funny since no one actually measured my belly, and told me not to sleep on my back any more. What comes next pissed me off. In a big way.

My doctor told me that since I was transferring care, they were terminating their relationship with me and I could not come to them with any questions or problems. I thought this was a little weird, but plunged ahead. I explained that I was having an ultrasound on Monday and I didn't want to officially transfer until after that because I was going to a midwife under the assumption that I was having a normal, healthy pregnancy with no complications. She asked what doctors the midwife practice had to "back them up" and what hospital they transferred to. When I told her I didn't know about a specific doctor, she put on her most concerned face and told me to be sure I got an answer for that. The implication being that women can't be trusted to have babies without a doctor hovering in the wings. I let that go.

What I can't let go is what happened next. I asked about transferring back for GYN care after I gave birth, since my goal in going to the midwife group was not to have all of my GYN care with them, but only to avoid the hospital. She explained that the practice wouldn't take me back. "It's a breach of trust. If you don't trust us for the birth, then why would you trust us for any of your other health care."

I'm not kidding. That's verbatim.

So here I am, 19 weeks pregnant, and essentially screwed if this pregnancy turns out to be abnormal in any way. So much for caring about women's health. What a huge crock of shit. I was completely at a loss for words during that visit because I couldn't believe my doctor, who I have trusted for four years now with my health and well-being, had just told me that because I didn't like the statistics of the hospital, she was no longer be willing to be my doctor.

Now, I am not speechless. I am still shocked, and appalled and furious. When my mother was pregnant with me, she had to lie to her OB about her birth plans. She went to her prenatal visits on time and on schedule and then "accidentally" had me at home under midwife supervision. Now, 35 years later, I'm realizing that I should have done the same thing. This is ridiculous. The medical establishment is forcing women into the hospital for birth, and taking the rest of our care hostage in order to insure we don't ask too many questions. OB/GYNs are hijacking women's health in their own self-interest and I am sick and tired of it. I see my OB for less than five minutes at each visit, and she has the audacity to lecture me about a breach of trust? Who does she think she is? I appreciate her medical expertise, but the harsh reality is that she has never seen a normal birth. She is a trained surgeon and if the baby doesn't come out when she thinks it should, she will operate with impunity under the guise of "non-reassuring heart tones" regardless of what is best for me or my child.

Well guess what guys? Now you've pissed me off. I am mad as hell and I'm not taking it any more. I have a huge newsflash for them. If something funky comes up on my ultrasound on Monday, I will not be going back to that practice for care. In fact, I will never go back to them for anything, and not only will I not recommend them to friends any more, I will take every opportunity to tell all the women I know in the area just exactly how much their practice actually cares about women and their health. (Here's a little secret: they don't. They don't care about you or your baby or your health. They care about their stats and their bottom line.)

Since I'm not naming names in a public forum, I'll be happy to discuss the matter further in a private email if you are in the area and want more information. But the bottom line for me is: I'm not taking this lying down. I refuse to have my health and the health of my child hijacked over some asinine pissing contest between doctors and midwives. And if this particular doctor thinks she can scare or shame me into a hospital, into a pitocin drip, or into a c-section, she's got another think coming.

Having a baby is not pathological. It is not a medical procedure. In some cases, there are complications, and a trained OB can save you and your baby's life. That has never been in dispute. But the plain fact of the matter is that most births don't require anything more complicated than patience and time, two things of which doctors are in notoriously short supply. Modern obstetric care is a joke. It's a slice and dice operation with little regard or respect for the women it's supposed to be helping. And I, for one, refuse to buy into the bullshit any more.

So, thanks, Doc. You've shown your true colors and really opened my eyes. I'm glad I saw now, instead of as I was being wheeled into the operating theater for an unnecessary c-section. I'm hoping there's a doctor out there who isn't threatened by midwives and who sees them as a natural complement to OB/GYN care. After this experience, I'm not going to settle for anything less.