A different story every. Single. Time.

::deep breath::

I'm trying to be patient. Trying to take deep breaths and realize that I'm in a heightened emotional state right now, and I should not do anything without first taking a deep, calming breath, and then waiting and extra 10 minutes before I attempt anything that requires logic or rational thinking/behavior.

But man, oh man. Is Barker making it hard.

I called to check in with them again today about where we are in our paperwork. I spoke directly with the Domestic Program assistant and thankfully did not have to rely on voicemail or email. As far as paperwork outside of our control, we are still waiting on our CPS clearances. That's to be expected, though, so not a big deal. However. It turns out we are also missing a sworn disclosure agreement, our DMV records, a copy of our 2010 tax return and employment verification letters from our HR department. FOR REAL?! Um, maybe I'm missing something here, but HOW THE *&#@ WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WE NEEDED THESE THINGS?!

::deep breath::

Barker includes a checklist of all the paperwork you need, and I can say, unequivocally, that those things were NOT ON OUR LIST! Maybe we got an old list? Maybe there is a second page to the list that was left out? Who knows. But Barker has not once bothered to call us (or email! I'm good about email!) to inform us we were missing important items. This is what frustrates me the most about Barker. Their utter and complete lack of communication. Or maybe I should call it one-way communication, since I call them and send stuff in to them all the goddamn time. But here's the rub. I can't complain about it. If this were a business I was paying for a service (oh, wait. it totally is!), I would ask to speak to a manager and complain bitterly about the ridiculousness of the communication. But there isn't anyone to complain to. And these people, quite literally, hold our future and our future child in their hands. I feel like complaining would possibly, maybe put us at the bottom of the pile, or have our paperwork otherwise "lost". I realize this is unfair. Barker adheres to strict regulating standards, and I can't believe that anyone there would sabotage our attempt to adopt just because I complained about their total lack of communication. But still.

I should also point out that the domestic program assistant is the sweetest girl you have ever met and yelling at her would just feel wrong. Like kicking a puppy. Maybe that's Barker's real plan. They know they don't tell you jack-shit about what you need to do to actually pass your homestudy, but they put the softest-spoken, sweetest girl imaginable on the other end of the phone line so that you can't call them out on their bullshit.

Clearly, I am frustrated today. And now I'm off to track down more paperwork. I am going to be doing a lot of swearing today. F-bombs are dropping like flies in this house.