I figured it out. I am terrified of stretch marks because they are physical proof that I was pregnant that will be around long after I am no longer pregnant. After the emotional nuclear winter following the miscarriage, I am terrified of having a physical reminder of the pregnancy before I have my baby safe in my arms.
I know it's weird and pessimistic, but I know of so many women recently who have had their babies too early and I am terrified of that outcome.
At least now I know why I am freaking out so much about something so superficial. Maybe that will help me take a deep breath, relax and let it go. I can't control it so I should stop trying.
Thanks for listening to me whine about it. I feel much better now.
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