Agency #1: Catholic Charities

The "#1" is not intended to be a qualitative measurement, it's just the first agency we met with.

When we started this journey, I spent a lot of time online, looking up adoption resources, reading articles written about good and bad adoption experiences (which is the main reason I'd never adopt from Russia, but that's a story for another post), and in general, trying to wade through the absolute overload of information out there. It became quickly obvious that we were going to need help sorting all this out, so I started looking up adoption agencies in our area. The first one that came up in the search was Catholic Charities.

To be honest, I was skeptical, at best, of the information we would get there. The website claims that the adoption portion of the group is non-denominational, meaning you don't have to be Catholic to avail yourself of the agency services. My Mom's side of the family is Catholic, and there is definitely a "good works" component to Catholicism that I've always appreciated, so I decided it was as good a place to start as any. As a bonus, they had an info meeting coming up soon, so it felt very "instant gratification". We packed up our doubts and off we went.

What an eye opener that first meeting was! First, they are very well organized and *very* experienced. I have read that the Catholic Church is essentially responsible for modern adoption, and it really seemed so at that meeting. They really have their act together in terms of the myriad aspects of adoption. What I really liked most is the start-to-finish counseling services they provide. They counsel prospective birth parents, to be sure, but they also provide comprehensive support to everyone in the process, including adult adoptees and adoptive families.

I had a few concerns as the meeting progressed. Namely, that they work with "Pregnancy Crisis Centers". I don't know how much you may have heard about these types of places, but many of them have been getting in serious trouble with women's rights groups (and possibly with local and state laws, though our legal system tends to not punish these types of infractions) for giving out misleading, false, and often dangerous information to women who are pregnant and have no where to turn. They are billed as medical centers when, if fact, they aren't. And many of the staff at these places have told women blatantly false and misleading "facts" about the options they have during pregnancy. Whatever your opinion on abortion may be, and believe me when I say you are entitled to whatever opinion you want, it is harmful and just downright wrong to tell a women that having an abortion means she can never have children again. This is the level of misinformation some of these places have been accused of giving out. So, ranting about women's rights aside, I was very concerned when Catholic Charities said they "worked with" these centers. I actually stepped outside with one of the social workers to discuss it privately as I didn't want it to devolve into a debate over abortion. Because that's not what it is.

I don't have enough good words in my vocabulary to convey how great this social worker was at allaying my fears. First, she was very willing to have a lengthy discussion and address every one of my concerns. Second, she assured me that Catholic Charities receives phone calls from these types of places and sends a licensed social worker out to discuss adoption options at the request of the pregnant woman. She said that Catholic Charities is in no way affiliated with those centers, does not give them money or participate in their operation. They merely answer the phone and send someone to help a woman in need. She did say that Catholic Charities is not going to be involved with any organization that offers abortions - they are run by the Catholic Church after all. I didn't think to ask, but I wonder now if that means they don't accept referrals from places like Planned Parenthood? I'll ask next time. My feeling is that they aren't going to turn anyone away, regardless of the referral, but I also think Catholic Charities may not be high on the list of places Planned Parenthood calls about potential adoptions. Maybe I'm being too biased towards both of these entities and should be more fair to them, but they don't seem like organizations that would normally be natural allies...

What I was most impressed with, aside from the individual care and attention they give everyone, is their "success" rate. There is a 'legal risk' window in infant adoptions. In general, infants go straight from the hospital to the adoptive parents, but there is still a period of time, which (naturally) varies from state to state, in which the birth parents can change their minds about the adoption. I believe that time period is 10 days in our state, but I'll need to double check that. The social worker at Catholic Charities told us they have never had anyone rescind the adoption during that time period. She explained that they had numerous experienced and trained counselors and social workers who look for early warning signs that the birth parent(s) may be wavering in their decision. She said they usually catch these things very early and arrange for foster care instead of allowing these women to choose an adoptive family. It makes it emotionally easier for everyone involved in the process, and as this is such an emotional thing, I really appreciated that.

Catholic Charities uses profile books and a "pool" of available families. Once you complete your home study and various other paperwork, you make a profile book that they keep on record in their offices. The nice thing is that their pool of available families is relatively small. They keep around 15 profile books in the pool at any given time, and there are about 20 families on a waiting list to get into the pool, in various stages of completing paperwork. I really liked that they keep the pool small. Theoretically it means less "choice" for birth parents, but realistically it means less wait time (potentially) for prospective adoptive families. Having said that, wait times are extremely subjective in domestic adoptions. Your time will vary based on criteria you select - things like gender, race, health and family background - but having a smaller pool increases your chances of being chosen in general.

Catholic Charities is recently Hague accredited, but I got the impression that they were pretty new to the International adoption game. If we were seriously considering International adoption, I don't think Catholic Charities would be our first choice. Also, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, and I don't know if it's unique to Catholic Charities or not, but if you become pregnant during the adoption process, you get put "on hold". Their belief is that each child deserves it's own special introduction and integration into your family, and birthing a biological child and adopting one at the same time is not an ideal situation, in their opinion. They also ask that you wait until your infant (adopted or biological) is at least 18 months old before you start paperwork to adopt again. The good news is that you go back in to the process at the point you left, instead of having to start all over again, with the exception of needing to update your home study if your family has changed (by having a child). I understand their position, though I'm not terribly excited by it. Since we are not precluding a biological child, this could potentially be an issue for us. If all agencies have this policy, it won't affect our decision. But if other agencies don't have this policy, it could sway us in one direction or the other.

All in all, we were favorably impressed by Catholic Charities and went from assuming that they wouldn't work for us to strongly considering them as our agency of choice. We have two more info meetings to attend before we make our final choice - one this Saturday! - but we really liked what we heard at Catholic Charities. As I said before, I was very impressed with how much care and attention they are willing to give to each person, and how well trained and knowledgeable their staff is. I get the feeling that if we chose them, it will be a very intimate and personal experience. I'm really curious to see if the other agencies have a similar vibe...