The upside of being childless.

It sounds so forlorn when you say "childless." There have been a million and one articles written about this, so I won't belabor the point, but so many couples are choosing to not have kids, which comes with its own guilt and societal pressure. But occasionally I have had the thought that maybe I waited too long to have kids. That I'm too selfish now to pull it off.

The reality is that because we have no kids and two incomes, we have a lot of freedom. A lot. We can travel on a whim and not worry about packing a diaper bag or whether everyone on the plane will hate us for bringing our baby to Japan. We can decide to go out for dinner in the city with no ramifications, no babysitter. I have a lot of disposable income to spend on yarn. Allen can buy video games, and actually find time to play them. (Well, kind of... We still seem to be pretty busy.)

We also have free time that vanishes once you become a parent. And we get as much sleep each night as we want. No interruptions. I think that's why I don't look my age. (At least, I hope I don't look my age.)

So, with all of these benefits, why is the drive so strong to have children? It's not even that the need is for biological children. Neither of us need our child to be biological. We just need to care for a child and help it grow to be the best person it can be, and then watch it do the same thing - have kids, raise them, ad infinitum. Clearly there is some ingrained biological urge to insure a continuing generation, and though I know this from a scientific standpoint, I am constantly amazed by the ramifications in practice. It's a kind of miracle, really. That a set of instructions encoded into your DNA can make you feel like you will burst if you can't share the love in your heart.

I love Christmas time - the traveling, the family and friends, the spirit of the season, the lights, trees, decorations, hot cocoa (with or without Frangelico...). All of it. But never in my life have I been so anxious for Christmas to be over. Because as soon as we get home, we start our home study paper work. I. Can't. Wait.