An exchange from a recent birthing class:
Instructor: "Who has been feeling really hormonal?"
All the women in the class: raise hands
Allen: whispers to me "No, you've been fine."
Oh my poor, sweet husband. How those four little words came back to haunt you.
I had an epic meltdown last week. I mean like Lord of The Rings extended cut movie marathon epic. This was my first really hormonal completely-lose-all-reason episode, so I think I'm still doing okay overall, but man... It was not pretty in this house for a good 12 hours.
It wasn't even anything specific. I was frustrated with work (not unusual), but for some reason, I could not stop crying and every tiny little thing set off a fresh round of hysterics. We're trying to adjust our mortgage rate and the APR went up from 2.75 to 2.875? Crying. The VW dealership is sending out a guy to repair our windshield and he isn't here yet? Tears. My computer settings are wonky because we got new hardware at work? Meltdown. My brother got a new iPhone 4s? Hysterics.
I wish I was making that up. But all of them are true. Welcome to pregnancy. These are the things no one tells you. Yes, you'll be hormonal, but no one told me what that meant. So, ladies who intend to get pregnant for the first time, pay attention. You will get hormonal, but being pregnant hormonal is to regular hormonal as being an elephant is to being a mouse. (I dare them to put that on the SATs.) It's a whole other league.
Allen got a crash course in it. He came home to hysterical wife, and held me while I cried about work, the mortgage, the iPhone, the car, not to mention the "what if you die" scenarios I spun out in between sobs. It was a special moment, guys. Here's where Allen once again wins best freaking husband, ever:
Me: sniffling "I also ate all the halva because there was no ice cream in the house."
Allen: "Well, there is now. I brought home cake and ice cream for dessert."
Me: miraculously "I feel better!" tears dry, clouds part, angels sing
A little ice cream goes a long way in this house.
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