A love letter.

I do a fair bit of railing about the c-section rate in this country. And after yesterday's post about unnecessary (and useless) "diagnostics", I felt like I should clarify a thing or two...

My ranting about childbirth in the US is directed solely and only at the medical community and the establishment that takes advantage of women at a vulnerable time. I do not think that women who have c-sections (or epidurals or pitocin or whatever else) are weak or somehow "less" woman because of the way their babies came into the world. The goal for all should be a healthy, happy baby and Mom. I know many women who have had c-sections and other interventions, and I am so grateful those technologies were available to them. Maybe it wasn't the birth experience they wanted, but at the end of the day, regardless of how their babies got here, they are all thriving now.

What upsets me is not that we have these tools available. What upsets me is that many (if not most) OB/GYNs perpetuate falsehoods about childbirth and scare women into unnecessary interventions. Many women don't even know there is another way because the first person they see about their pregnancy, their OB, starts them down a path that leads to the hospital. How you choose to have your baby is a deeply personal and intimate choice, much like parenting itself. But how can any of us be expected to make informed decisions when we are given false information from the outset? What pisses me off the most is that doctors have the ultimate trump card: "Your baby could die." I can't tell you how many times I have heard that phrase, verbatim, during my pregnancy. Basically, any time I had the audacity to ask a question about some "established" medical procedure as it pertained to me or my baby. The message is clear: if you question the medical status quo, you are putting your life and your baby's life in danger. Guess what? That is an outright lie.

Look, there are risks to having babies. I get that. But if it was really so dangerous that every women needed to be in the hospital to survive, the human species would have died out long ago. And I realize that we have a much lower infant and maternal mortality rate than, say, 200 years ago, but we (the US) also has the worst rates of any first world country. What does that tell you about our model of care?

I got a bit off track... My point is: I'm not upset at women for being part of the system. I'm mad at the system. I wish everyone could have the birth experience they want, but the fact that we even have to discuss what kind of birth experience we want is part of the problem. And I know things go wrong. And in those cases, I am deeply grateful for the medical technologies we have in place. I just get mad when they are used routinely rather than as they are intended.

So to all women, Mamas, Mamas-to-be, any woman who has ever felt taken advantage of by the medical system, I leave you with this article: A Love Letter to C-Section Moms. There can be no change if we are fighting each other instead of fighting the real culprit. Much love to you all.